Caught Up In "Compatibility"...

If you know that you love someone... and know that they love you... and know that you both love God... is that enough?

Sometimes I think we think so much about 'compatibility' and what 'lines up' and what doesn't... But ultimately, people change... and God changes people... so is there really such a thing as 'compatibility' if people are always changing anyway? I mean, if I were to meet the most compatible guy on the planet today --who's to say we'll still be 'compatible' in ten years?

I don't wanna think about compatibility... I just want to marry for the right reasons... I want a man to love me for the right reasons... and I want my life to count for the right reasons...

If I love him, Lord, is that enough?

Will it be enough??

~J~

If God calls me to marriage...

My greatest hope is that my marriage will be (in many aspects) as successful as my parents' marriage...

My greatest fear is that my marriage will (in many aspects) turn out like my parents' marriage...

I see movies... I read tales... I hear stories... I'm not afraid of 'marriage' per se... I fear the risks, the odds --seemingly almost unbeatable. I fear becoming like her... I fear that he will become like him... I'm scared we will turn into 'them' and that what we have will turn into 'that'. I am afraid of the danger and the turmoil --the heartache and the headaches-- that marriage has the potential to bring...

Seems like the things in life that often have the greatest potential for good and blessing carry equal amounts of potential for harm and destruction... why can't it just be simple? Maybe it is....

but I

am just so

afraid.

A Tale of Three Seeds...

There once were three seeds... each fell to the ground, welcoming a summer's day --pockets of potential... bursting with life.

Each had a beginning --reminiscent of the others, yet uniquely distinct...

One took root during a season of spring weather...
One took root after a long winter of uncertainty...
One took root before the ground was even ready to receive it...

So closely did they all begin... so distant did each seed grow... no one could have known it then... how each one, seperate paths would go...

The first seed lay dormant... what would become of its roots? Only time would tell...

The second seed began its gentle journey --cautionless and unaware... hopeful, still.

The third seed sprouted almost immediately, shooting toward the sky... miraculous growth --the sun approved, it granted its light.

Harvest came and went... winter stood its ground, then faded with the sunbeams... Spring brought empty promises... summer shone anew. Each seed, bearing its true nature...

I saw one seed uprooted abruptly... tossed to the side... the gardener was merciful --it would not have been strong enough to survive the reigning test of time nor times of testing rain.

Very soon, I will see the other seed blossom... how beautiful that day will be... its roots, appearing firm, gently tended by the gardener.

Yet one seed remains... uncertain... undefined... I watch, anxiously, enraptured, intrigued... afraid. Changes will decide its fate... the gardener knows...

Gardener, will it bloom? Will it die?

Must this, too, find its end?

*she waits*